Building It diary

I love learning from experts, reading books, listening to books and podcasts. I’m your girl who will learn how to do anything with a quick Google search. I wanted to install ceiling fans in my kids’ bedrooms. So I had the styles I wanted delivered, found a YouTube video on how to install ceiling fans and went to work! By myself. When my husband was out of town and our furnace stopped, I Googled my way to the solution and fixed it. I think there is a way to find any information or instruction you need to get something done. You just have to look in the right place or ask the right people and have the motivation to act.

I find other people’s stories so inspiring. When I got that itch to go back to work full time, I dove head first into following and listening to industry professionals, motivational speakers and business and life coaches. My favorites were Rachel Hollis, Amy Porterfield, Jenna Kutcher, Tony Robbins. Listening to these superstars in their fields interview guests that had reached huge goals and made a real difference in people’s lives was so inspiring. I remember though, at one point listening to Rachel Hollis talk about how she was training for a triathlon. She would wake up super early in the morning and run for miles and she was constantly pushing her body and mind to the limit. She achieved more before 7am then I did all day. And I was not lazy! At times instead of feeling inspired I took a look at myself and felt wildly discouraged. I wasn’t anywhere near that level of success, confidence, notoriety. I looked up to these people for good reason, they were so clear about their goals and how to conquer any obstructions on the path to getting there. I had no clear vision, only an overwhelming feeling to go after something new, to take my life and happiness into my own hands and make it happen. My triathlon was sending resumes, trying to get interviews, remembering pick up and drop off times, and to sign up for soccer before registration closes. 

I have an entrepreneur mindset and endless ideas and I believed my time for achieving that dream of a work-life balance and financial freedom as my own boss would come someday. After a seven year hiatus from my career to care for my babies, I needed to start somewhere. Dust off my marketing skills, re-build my confidence and live experiences that would make me feel more valuable to people. Re-introduce myself to the fast-paced full-time career life before I can speak on business and entrepreneurship. Back then, I never found a role model or cheerleader with a blog or podcast that had practical advice for me at the very specific stage I found myself in. I found plenty of motivation and mindset practice. I did and still do find all those thought leaders inspiring and I learn so much about persistence and they all were relatable in the way that they were willing to share about feeling fear and impostor syndrome. But I wanted something more niche, something smaller and more relevant to the place I found myself. I was still on the runway, waiting for my turn in line to take off and they were 30,000 miles in the air.

I did find my community, small but mighty, in one of my best friends. She too had spent the last almost decade of her life raising her girls. She moved to the St. Paul suburbs, just after having her first child, when her husband had a job transfer. We met when our daughters were 5 years old and in the same dance class. We had a lot of similarities and our personalities clicked. Our husbands and kids became friends and we really became closer as the years went on. In 2019 we both found ourselves for many different reasons, making a huge life change by going back to a full-time job. I could not have shared the ups and downs of this experience with anyone better. I’m thankful to have had her walking through this huge milestone in life at the same time as me, or maybe just a half a step ahead. She landed her job and started a couple months before I did. And from there we navigated life as full-time, in-office, working parents. 

The reason I want to share my step by step journey to being my own boss and living a life of freedom, now through blogging, is to build that online space and community that I was looking for. As I start this new chapter of my life I know so many women in their mid-lives find themselves in the same place or just a few steps ahead or behind me. To some it may not feel like much, but when I finally decided to put my notice in at a company that I really did love, it was scary and brave. I was torn up for months thinking about what was next for me. I had that sinking feeling that I needed a change. I was so overwhelmed with life, which lead to me putting myself and my physical and mental health last. I struggled to feel good at anything. There wasn’t a single thing I felt like I was doing really well. If I was killing it at work and giving everything there, I looked up and it was 7:30pm and my kids and husband waiting for me. I was missing life. Advertising has a reputation for being fast-paced and rightly so. You use every mental muscle every minute of the day. There is nothing that will keep your mind sharper than balancing multiple clients, setting and executing on their strategy, balancing their budgets, maintaining a superior level of customer service and working cross-functionally with media and creative departments. It’s a double edged sword because what makes it interested and fun and new is also what can burn you out.

I’m not the best writer or even an experienced business owner. I don’t have a plan I can lay out or a course on building your business that I can sell. I’m at the starting line. I’m learning as I go and making mistakes and wasting time on things that will probably not pay me. But I can be honest, and real and share the valuable information that I learn along the way. I hope that others can see themselves and the place they are in. I hope others feel validated in all they are going through and experiencing when they take a chance and face the fear of the unknown. 

I sit here asking myself why I didn’t start my blog, podcast, social media seven years ago. And the answer is that I didn’t think I had enough to offer. I thought, i’ll go get experience. I’ll prove myself, and build my skills and resume and by then, I’ll have value to share. I did learn and experience so much in my five and a half years in client service. I felt validation from hard work done well, and strategy that clients benefited from. I know so much more than I did seven years ago, but not about building an online community. I didn’t learn how to build a WordPress website or start a blog, a Pinterest business page. I’m learning all that now and I want to share that. Maybe I’ll inspire one other person will start to take their first step.